Monday, October 18, 2010


I was contacted by my friend Nicole (who is a big supporter of the book- thanks Nicole!) about an opportunity to be interviewed by her uncle on his radio show! HE called me this morning and I had the chance to chat with him (he's wonderful) and his contact Sharon Jenkins, a seasoned author. They had some very wonderful advice and encouragment for me, and some great ooportunites (possibly) for me. To start, I'll be doing an interview this wednesday at 1:45 pm(PST) Here's the link to register...
and I hope you are able to listen!

I feel truly BLESSED to be in contact with these awesome people- great things (hopefully) around the corner!


What a difference a decade makes...

I can't believe it- 10 years ago today, on October 18, 2000 my mom passed away, and here I am a decade later.

Fun fact this is my 200th post- coincidence- hmmm

It's so strange to think it's been ten years. How different would my life be in those ten years? What kind of relationship would my mom and I have now? We never got a chance to survive the whole 'independent daughter, worrying mother' phase of our relationship (in case you're curious that tends to happen around the daughter's age of 17). She never got a chance to um what's the word, offer her opnions about decisions in my life, influence if you will, it's been all me and all my decisions for ten years- it's a strange feeling.

I can't help but wonder if she'd be proud of my decisions, of the choices I made. In th end it's the same feeling I guess most daughters feel, their mom may not approve of all thier choices, but really who does? You can't please everybody, and at the end of the day you have to be satisfied with the decisions that you have made. Over all I know she'd want me to be happy, and I am.

So much has happened in ten years. She passed away, I met the love of my life, he went on a mission, my stepdad got remarried and we moved (I STILL miss my old house to this day!) and I graduated high school. Then an associates degree. ThenI got married. Then I recieved my BA in English and my Montessori degree simultaneously.

Then we got pregnant and had Hailyn in October. I was induced with her.I worried that she would be born the same day my mom passed away, and I'm almost certain she would have been. I'm ok with that now, but the thought of raising a daughter, after losing my mom terrified me to an extent. I worried about the same thing happening to her that happened to me. I am now convinced I cannot die until she is grown, and secure in life. I have to see her through. My accident in Feb proved that to me. I can't be a daredevil (as much) anymore. Sigh. I don't want to be.

October is such a bittersweet month. I KNOW my mom specifically sought Hailyn out and hung out with her beforehad, becuase Hailyn will give me looks sometimes and it's like 'WHOA! THERE'S MOM!' She's done this since she was a newborn- seriously. I'm also convinced my mom would tell Hailyn stories in heaven all about the tantrums I use to throw and the 'nudity' obsession I had with taking my clothes off- my mom always said I would get my payback and raise a daughter just like me- Hailyn so is me! In fact the student surpasses the teacher in my opinion here. I do worry about Hailyn forgetting her grandma in heaven. My mom, imperfect as we all are in our own ways, she rocked. Especially towards the last four years when she was diagnosed, she was a rock, the strongest woman I will ever know.

There are some days I just want to call and ask her advice. When I'm sick I just wish my mommy were there with soup, but alas, it's not possible and I'm a grown up, I get my own soup now (also has to do with motherhood- you don't get sick days!) I wish Ryan got to know her- it's strange because Ryan really only knows a fraction of me, a few peices of the puzzle are missing for him, just because (he has also never met my biological dad and if I can help it he NEVER will- long story don't want to get into) but really, my dad will never EVER even meet Hailyn. Tangent over. Ryan did meet my mom once, he doesn't rememeber. My mom thought he was super cute and nice. I think she'd approve! haha! Life would sure be easier if she were here, but then again life isn't supopsed to be easy.

I did a lot in those ten years, and I will always wonder what she thought of my decision, my actions, and the person I am now. Hopefully she'll be proud of the fact that I am trying to pursue my dream- this project

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Going for it....

As many of you know I have been writing a novel for the past few years, and it is 95% done (some minor editing that should be done lickety split!) If you are interested in reading it, in helping out an emerging author, click here to see how you canget involved and pre-order your copy today! I'm going to try and make a button, but if you can post this on your FB or on your blog and help spread the word I'd greatly appreciate it!!!! Thanks you guys!!!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Fam pictures finally!

WARNING!!! This post contains a million pictures- be forewarned! But since you guys are used to me having long posts anyway- well, here it goes! We had family pictures! It was quite the adventure getting three little kiddos under the age of four to get a shot- luckily we had a fabulous photographer (THANK GOODNESS!!!!:) and we walked away with some awesome shots!! these are raw, we still need to decide on editing- but here ya go!

Ryan trying to get Hailyn to run with her Number 2 candle

Giving up- haha!

RUNNING!!! She was being bribed with a cheeto!

sweet two year shot! love! keep in mind I had like a hundred to choose from- it's hard to narrow them down- I am so ecstatic with them though!

The grandkids!

The happy couple!!

and again!!!

The three bears...

behind the scenes- the moms trying to get the kiddos under control!

haha- I LOVE this pic- CLASSIC Hailyn whenever we try and get a picture- since she was 6 weeks old she has NOT liked the paprazzi! Remember the angel pic where she is flipping the bird? classic... oh and Ryan (Em's hubby) found a pack of cigarettes someone left behind at the park (we took these at the park Hailyn always plays at- awesome!) and so he's holding them while trying to get hailyn to hold hands with boys- hilarious! LOVE it!

umm are you as obsesed with her tutu as I am? I wish I got more pictures in it- I had her do a wardrobe change! classic diva! seriously, I am obsessed with this tutu- I spent a fortune finsing outfits for the pictures and this one was the winner- wish I just stopped- sigh- anyhow I want to get more-in various sizes- it also comes in pink and black- it's hard to find royal blue for little girls and this is amazing! ok, enough with the tutu- but seriously adorable!


showing how fast the 'blur' can be- she's crazy fast!!

Can't believe it's been two years- we're having a most likely traditional fuddruckers dinner on friday night for her birthday- I'll post pics:) In the meantime I am THRILLED to finally have some couple and family shots! YAY! HAPPY OCTOBER EVERYONE!