Thursday, August 25, 2011

My soapbox...on gender...

Ok, so call me a feminist. Call me a hormonal pregnant lady. Whatever. I never really talk about anything controversial on here (politics, religion ect) but one area that rally irks me sometimes is on gender.

Since I've been pregnant people ask "do you want a boy or a girl next?" and I genuinely answer "Whatever God thinks, we'll be thrilled!" I TRULY feel that way. I know Hailyn was 'custom made' in a way for our little family. She just fits. I can't explain it. Other parents I'm sure understand what I'm talking about. This spunky, funny, sassy, smart, witty little girl just FITS! She is just a mix of Ryan and I that is pure awesomeness.

So when people tell me 'I hope you have a boy for the 'drama' sake, so you don't have so much drama in your house. Or what REALLY gets me is when they say 'boys are just better' WHAT?! You are saying this to a FEMALE- not just that but a STRONG female! So yes, maybe I am a feminist, if being a feminist means I believe men and women are both equally important and have divine and different COMPLIMENTARY roles in this life. And a STEP further, how about each little spirit is unique and divine in their own roles? Male or female? My little Hailyn LOVES to play with dolls, nurture her babies, make food, and then she loves to play in the dirt, with dump trucks, and can run faster than any boy I've ever seen. I've seen boys afraid of getting dirty. My niece is one of the best fisherman I know! She is quite adept in the outdoors! So I am told this 'drama' quote and then the fact that 'boys are better' (whatever that means!) and I get LIVID! RIGHT after these comments, I notice my nephew throwing his arms in a fit and pouting worse than ANY girl I have ever seen. Remember I am a preschool teacher and have had hundreds of students over the years. boys can be JUST as much drama as girls. And the whole 'boys carrying on the family name?' GARBAGE! Having a boy does not guarantee that that boy will produce offspring. I'm JUST saying people get EDUCATED!

Now this does not mean I hate boys or anything like that. I will be THRILLED if God blesses us with a baby boy- OR another baby girl! I simply TRUST GOD to find the little spirit that is going to just FIT with us- simple! I just don't think girls should be put down ANYMORE! think Ryan would love a boy if nothing else to help with 'gross yard work' and trash ect. But I grew up doing those chores and it made me a more adept and stronger woman. So if Hailyn grows up mowing the lawn, I'm ok with that.

This whole attitude that girls are drama and princesses and boys are 'easy', LIES! All children are uniquely divine and have special and important roles. Maybe this means I'll have an army of girls, to help raise STRONG women that can stand on their own and not have to have someone take care of them their whole lives. Is it 1770? SERIOUSLY people, even then WOMEN WERE STRONG! Sheesh! I can work and balance a checkbook and cook dinner and do it with a baby in tow, so yeah. I don't want my daughter EVER to feel 'not as important' because she's not a boy- she is a girl and a WONDERFUL AND AMAZING girl! I want her to be proud of it!

Next baby, BOY OR GIRL- we'll be thrilled for you!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

so blessed! baby girl is good. We've had to take her to the doctors a few times, she has a few more followups but she is healing AMAZINGLY well and AMAZINGLY fast! We are SO blessed!! thank you all for prayers and support and love- you are wonderful little blogosphere world!

SPEAKING of being blessed...around the craziness of Hailyn's head injury... we found out NUMBER 2 IS ON THE WAY!!!

Yes siree we are pregnant! we are super excited! Many of you probably already know, but just in case- PREGNANT! Due march 21 2012.

So I have a LOT to catch up on...including pics from London and Paris... but they are on Ryan's computer so I'll get to them later. It was a blast!

Also school starts next week- I'm excited to be teaching again! I will end in March when baby is due. Happy first day back to school!

and happy last few days of summer! I know we are trying to soak in as much as we can before monday!

Monday, August 1, 2011

Doctors visits...

I am FINALLY getting around to updating the blog- it has been a whirlwind this past week. So update on the kiddo...

She's doing great!!! On Tuesday we had an eye doctor appt and he told me we would have to put her under and check and make sure there was no hemorraging behind her eyes. SERIOUSLY!!?? I wasn't prepared for that- I luckily had my new sis in law Jess who is amazing with me at the appointment so I didnt start bawling in front of my kid. I took a breath and got instructions. She would need to fast after midnight and I would need to put these special eye drops in her eyes an hour before we went in. He suggested doing it while she was asleep. Luckily, he scheduled her for the first appointment of the day (with her being two and a half and in pain go ahead and TRY to get her to fast longer) and the check in time was 5:45 am- and ryan is gone. Awesome. Ok, I've got this. Jess said she could meet me there (bless her!) so that was situated!

So I go to fill this eye drop prescription and NO pharmacy in Las Vegas has them. They are at a warehouse. Special order. Ok, when can they be here? I asked. Tomorrow at 10a. Um that won't work her surgery is at 545 am and I need to put those suckers in an hour before. I go home defeated and starving. Luckily my amazing neighbor sensed my hunger and lack of food in the house and brought me a ton of food! Kristi rocks:) she also brought me dinner that night. Amazing. Love her! Anyhow I call pharmacies to check on these eye drops NONE in Vegas. I call the doctor. Umm they can do it at the surgery center they'll just have to wait an extra hour to perform surgery. AH!! NOT going to work!! My kid is asleep and I am so so tired after only 3 hours of sleep the night before and the stress and panic. So I crash. HARD. for an hour. I missed Jeremy coming over to see Hailyn with a sweet rapunzel doll for her. I didn't hear the door I was so so tired!

I wake up to 15 missed calls from the doctors office, the surgery center and insurance company. They are all fighting. The insurance wont cover the procedure unless it's at a hospital, it would be about $10,000 to do that with me paying 20%. Surgery center? already set up? $400. Umm I'll be a cash patient thanks insurance company for nothing. I called the doctors office, they were missing my drivers license and insurance card and could I fax it to them. I lost it. I broke down about the eye drops, the insurance, the surgery center- I told them to talk to each other. The lady, Michelle heard me. I told her I was barely hanging on and I couldn't do it, they needed to work it out I was taking care of my injured child ALONE and didn't have a minute to waste on this nonsense and more would get done if they took out the middle man. She then told me she had drops for me, come pick them up and I could drop off info then? Um yes- thank you! She made my day less stressful- why couldn't we do that before?

Anyhow I high tail it to the doctors before they close get everything squared away. The next morning I wake up at4:17am (glad I did I shut off my alarm at 1am- had to wake her every four hours still- yaoza!) Miraculously wake up and get ready and eat (I don't want her to see me eat since she can't). And I go to wake her at 4:45am- she is wide awake. Getting the eye drops in was tough! I wasn't sure I did- and she needed two sets- ugh! I tried my best (and cursed Ryan for being gone, he should've done the eye drops! It was torture! her eye was sealed shut I wasn't sure I got any in!) and schelpped her to the car and away we went.

At the surgery center she saw an apple juice box in my purse for after and wanted it.We were signing in (and paying $400 out of pocket) She even said please. Poor girl. I hated not giving it to her! We got her signed in and the anesthesialogist came in explained what he would do. Then the eye doctor came in and explained the procedure. Hailyn the entire time cuddled on my lap. Then the nurse Megan took her ands he didn't even cry or mind. We went to the waiting room and waited an hour. Hailyn had just woken up and was asking for juice please. I raced in there and she was sleepy but sweet. Doctor said everything went very well. I changed her gave her juice and carried her to the car. I hugged Jess for being there with me. I put Hailyn in her seat and took her to Tropical SMoothie (drive thru) we ran into our friend Paul in the drive thru. We bought a smoothie and went home. She wanted to walk in the house but she was teetering from anethesia so I carried her after a second. Nurses said she may be sleepy and lethargic. I couldn't keep up with her! She was all over. Had to encourage her to take a nap. She did. Ryan came home and we schellped it to the neuro.

As we went to the neuro we are running a bit late and I hear the distinct smell all moms know- my child pooped. We get there she didn't poop she had a major diahherra explosion. Oh my- a result of anesthesia I take it. and I brought no change of clothes. I had a single pullup in my purse for 'emergencies' and Ryan had wipes. He dropped me off- and she had diaherra all up her back and her shirt. A nurse behind me was looking at me. Um yes I need to change my child I know. So I go into the bathroom the changing table is in the middle of the bathroom and I do my best. A huge chunk falls on the floor and I step in it- didn't realize. I throw away her panties and her clothes are ruined! I have no extra clothes mind you. So I clean her up as I'm chucking wipes into the nearest trash can I can find, and there is poop everywhere. I get her in a pullup get her shoes on and away we go. Ryan is trying to decon the car seat and he's going to meet us there. We looked like great parents, our kid hasa nasty black eye, no clothes just a pullup and shoes. Yep. Amazing. Ryan came in noticed a disgruntled woman cleaning the downstairs bathroom. He then put two and two together. Sorry lady! He had to throw away part of her car seat it was unsalvageable. Yup, it was the worst explosion in history, hands down.

So the neuro said everything looks good, no swimming for 4-6 weeks and no re hitting her head (duh!)but she looks good. Keep an eye out for leaking spinal fluid (ahh!) but it's rare and she should be ok (relief) Thursday the eye doc said her vision looks good and eyes are moving together so that's good! She was the sweetest and easiest patient during all of this. Even the nurses and doctors were majorly impressed with her bravery she was incredible! She wanted pizza for dinner that night- that child got her pizza I tell you what!

Her swelling has gone down she can open her eye. She has a shiner and people in Phoenix (Ryan's grandma passed away July 22 and her funeral was saturday in Phoenix-Hailyn was wonderful! Love that girl.

So she is healing well and her swelling is going down- people ask and I have to tell the whole story and that's hard. Hardest week ever. But she is ok. I have the greatest family and friends- tons of love support calls and prayers. Thank you all so much- she's on the mend!