Out with the old...

Blogger and I are not getting along- I have about seven thousand (SLIGHT exaggeration) pictures to upload- Hailyn's birthday, halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas... and no luck. So instead, hi blogger world I am alive!!!

I am SO done with 2011. It was the hardest year of my life. No joke. But there were some amazing highlights that have made this the most roller coaster drama year i've ever had. We got to take a family trip to Florida and live it up at Disney World (which was awesome!) and then I turned another yar older and possibly 20 years wiser (HA!!!!) and then found out I was expecting (SURPRISE!!!) baby boy in March!! Hailyn hit her head (low point) but was fine (yay!) and then Ryan and I took a second honeymoon to london and paris. School started again. We spoke in church where SURPRISE stake presidency was there hence we spoke in Stake Conference a month later and it was an amazing experience for us.The holiday routine we always do (Flagstaff, Polar Express train, and Enchanted Forest) I have to say this holiday season was by far my favorite ever. So 2011, ended on a happier note.

Segway into 2012, I am stronger than I thought humanly possible, expecting a baby in March, done teaching in March (I'm actually pretty sad about it. I don't want to leave early). I am no longer in Primary (I miss it) and Hailyn is a sunbeam. SO much has changed in one year it's unreal. We may be moving in may (ahhhhhh) but are hoping to stay close and just have a cheaper plac to rent (can't stay here if I don't work). SIIIIIGH!!! BUT we have food, clothing, and shelter. A beautiful baby girl and the GOSPEL!! I am SO grateful for the gospel in my life I have no clue where I would be without it. So 2012, I am ready for you. I'm hoping it is a smoother year. We are excited for our baby boy in march:) excited for the opportunities that will come our way and excited to learn and grow another year as an indiivdual and a family.

2012...be good to us:)

Spotlight on my soon to be sunbeam...

My baby girl is turning three on Sunday and with me being pregnant and hormonal I am feeling extremely nostalgic- and WISHING my baby would stay little forever. Alas, it isn't happening. With her birthday being on a Sunday, and me being pregnant and working and tired, well, it's going to be a mellow affair- but with a LOT of love! Smashburger and then a taco dinner sunday.

Since I have been a slacker, Hailyn has not had her three year pics yet- we are thinking the monday after her birthday- when she is officially three. Yes, I am so behind on everything it seems. But since this is a form of journaling for me... I wanted to SPOTLIGHT my soon to be sunbeam (oh don't get me started- I'm going to cry my eyes out when she is a sunbeam- I cannot even process it right now) and sadly I have no pics for this post...maybe when I blog about her birthday in november! haha! Some fun things about my cutie pie!

Favorite foods: pizza, cheeseburgers, cheese (straight up grated cheese so funny!) and yogurt oh and apples and fries and DONUTS (anything sweet is called a donut- besides cookies) Dad's scrambled eggs (it sounds like she eats a lot I assure you I jump for joy when she eats ANYTHING!)

Favorite color: purple- hands down

Movies: Despicable Me and Rio- and the Gruffalo movie (she also likes the Disney movies but Rapunzel has taught her to use her plastic frying pan as a weapon and Ariel taught her how to use a fork as a dinglehopper so those are used sparingly)

Books: The Gruffalo (ADORABLE bookwe got her in London with a puppet she LOVES it!) and Pajama Time by Sandra Boynton

Shows: LITTLE EINSTEINS is ALL this girl will watch- she calls it her 'mission show!' and shouts 'going on a mission!' yeah mommy is trying out other shows but this is a winner for sure

Activities: she loves to make mommy pictures and take baths and go on the slide at the park and ride the 'horsies' at the mall (the carousal)

Songs: she loves I am a child of God and Popcorn popping on the Apricot Tree- working on Jesus wants me For a Sunbeam right now

Special things about Hailyn: This HILARIOUS girl always has a smile on her face. She is pure sunshine. I do not know what I did right to deserve such an incredible, loving, smart, spunky little girl- I am so blessed! She is super independant and I cannot help her get dressed (or choose her clothes) she hates getting her teeth brushed, and she will leave her hair in after I fix it for exactly 2.5 seconds. She LOVES getting manicures and pedicures (and often brings me clippers as a HINT to give her a mani and pedi:) she LOVES shoes and LOVES to go shopping (oh boy!) and she loves sunglasses and purses and has to take a purse (or two or three) everywhere we go. She is my little trooper- super easy going. I love the way she says 'thank you' 'please' and 'your welcome' she seriously says them so cute! She says milk like 'muck' working on that:) cute though! She LOVES little babies (hope that sticks) and I never have to remind her to be careful or gentle. She is such a good little mama to her babies at home and takes good care of them tucking them in bed, pushing them in strollers. She screams 'DADDY' when Ryan gets home and he gets the biggest hug ever from his baby girl. She is scared of the dark (she is so my kid! lol) and she has the KINDEST heart! I hope she always does. If a kid bites her or hits her she just looks sad and doesn't retaliate. Yet she is spunky and can hold her own. I hope she has a good balance of softness and strength. I think she will. She is always asking if a friend gets hurt if they are ok. She is a giant sweetheart and I truly LOVE spending time with my little buddy. She has her moments, but oh my I am going to miss the time of it being just her and I. We are buds. Hailyn, happy birthday... I love you like crazy cakes!

Crazy Busy Wonderful

Since we moved two years ago and Ryan started his dram job, our lives have sort of taken a new routine. From end of August til January life is on fast forward. We have the start of school, then Hailyn's birthday, family and Hailyn's photos we try and get at least once a year- (that's it once a year sad huh? We take candids all the time- sigh) Halloween, Thanksgiving (a trip to see family!) and then Christmas time! That of course is ringed with secretly shopping, wrapping gifts, setting up the house, going to Magical Forest and of course Christmas! Amazingly EVERY year on New Years we take it pretty easy. We're talking pizza or Chinese food, a Harry Potter marathon and passing out on the couch by ten. After all the craziness I think it's the perfect way to ring in the new year! Then there is usually a break from Jan til (aside from showering my hubby with lots of love and chocolate for Valentines day) April (Anniversary) then things get nutty until New Years again. Still, I love this routine. This year there will be no break as I anticipate March to be pretty crazy. What lead me to this madness is the fact that darling daughter's birthday is in less than a month I havent got a clue as to what to do or plan. And pictures for her 3rd birthday. Sigh. Better get on it. Let the crazy wonderfulness begin!

My soapbox...on gender...

Ok, so call me a feminist. Call me a hormonal pregnant lady. Whatever. I never really talk about anything controversial on here (politics, religion ect) but one area that rally irks me sometimes is on gender.

Since I've been pregnant people ask "do you want a boy or a girl next?" and I genuinely answer "Whatever God thinks, we'll be thrilled!" I TRULY feel that way. I know Hailyn was 'custom made' in a way for our little family. She just fits. I can't explain it. Other parents I'm sure understand what I'm talking about. This spunky, funny, sassy, smart, witty little girl just FITS! She is just a mix of Ryan and I that is pure awesomeness.

So when people tell me 'I hope you have a boy for the 'drama' sake, so you don't have so much drama in your house. Or what REALLY gets me is when they say 'boys are just better' WHAT?! You are saying this to a FEMALE- not just that but a STRONG female! So yes, maybe I am a feminist, if being a feminist means I believe men and women are both equally important and have divine and different COMPLIMENTARY roles in this life. And a STEP further, how about each little spirit is unique and divine in their own roles? Male or female? My little Hailyn LOVES to play with dolls, nurture her babies, make food, and then she loves to play in the dirt, with dump trucks, and can run faster than any boy I've ever seen. I've seen boys afraid of getting dirty. My niece is one of the best fisherman I know! She is quite adept in the outdoors! So I am told this 'drama' quote and then the fact that 'boys are better' (whatever that means!) and I get LIVID! RIGHT after these comments, I notice my nephew throwing his arms in a fit and pouting worse than ANY girl I have ever seen. Remember I am a preschool teacher and have had hundreds of students over the years. boys can be JUST as much drama as girls. And the whole 'boys carrying on the family name?' GARBAGE! Having a boy does not guarantee that that boy will produce offspring. I'm JUST saying people get EDUCATED!

Now this does not mean I hate boys or anything like that. I will be THRILLED if God blesses us with a baby boy- OR another baby girl! I simply TRUST GOD to find the little spirit that is going to just FIT with us- simple! I just don't think girls should be put down ANYMORE! think Ryan would love a boy if nothing else to help with 'gross yard work' and trash ect. But I grew up doing those chores and it made me a more adept and stronger woman. So if Hailyn grows up mowing the lawn, I'm ok with that.

This whole attitude that girls are drama and princesses and boys are 'easy', LIES! All children are uniquely divine and have special and important roles. Maybe this means I'll have an army of girls, to help raise STRONG women that can stand on their own and not have to have someone take care of them their whole lives. Is it 1770? SERIOUSLY people, even then WOMEN WERE STRONG! Sheesh! I can work and balance a checkbook and cook dinner and do it with a baby in tow, so yeah. I don't want my daughter EVER to feel 'not as important' because she's not a boy- she is a girl and a WONDERFUL AND AMAZING girl! I want her to be proud of it!

Next baby, BOY OR GIRL- we'll be thrilled for you!

so blessed!

So...my baby girl is good. We've had to take her to the doctors a few times, she has a few more followups but she is healing AMAZINGLY well and AMAZINGLY fast! We are SO blessed!! thank you all for prayers and support and love- you are wonderful little blogosphere world!

SPEAKING of being blessed...around the craziness of Hailyn's head injury... we found out NUMBER 2 IS ON THE WAY!!!

Yes siree we are pregnant! we are super excited! Many of you probably already know, but just in case- PREGNANT! Due march 21 2012.

So I have a LOT to catch up on...including pics from London and Paris... but they are on Ryan's computer so I'll get to them later. It was a blast!

Also school starts next week- I'm excited to be teaching again! I will end in March when baby is due. Happy first day back to school!

and happy last few days of summer! I know we are trying to soak in as much as we can before monday!

Doctors visits...

I am FINALLY getting around to updating the blog- it has been a whirlwind this past week. So update on the kiddo...

She's doing great!!! On Tuesday we had an eye doctor appt and he told me we would have to put her under and check and make sure there was no hemorraging behind her eyes. SERIOUSLY!!?? I wasn't prepared for that- I luckily had my new sis in law Jess who is amazing with me at the appointment so I didnt start bawling in front of my kid. I took a breath and got instructions. She would need to fast after midnight and I would need to put these special eye drops in her eyes an hour before we went in. He suggested doing it while she was asleep. Luckily, he scheduled her for the first appointment of the day (with her being two and a half and in pain go ahead and TRY to get her to fast longer) and the check in time was 5:45 am- and ryan is gone. Awesome. Ok, I've got this. Jess said she could meet me there (bless her!) so that was situated!

So I go to fill this eye drop prescription and NO pharmacy in Las Vegas has them. They are at a warehouse. Special order. Ok, when can they be here? I asked. Tomorrow at 10a. Um that won't work her surgery is at 545 am and I need to put those suckers in an hour before. I go home defeated and starving. Luckily my amazing neighbor sensed my hunger and lack of food in the house and brought me a ton of food! Kristi rocks:) she also brought me dinner that night. Amazing. Love her! Anyhow I call pharmacies to check on these eye drops NONE in Vegas. I call the doctor. Umm they can do it at the surgery center they'll just have to wait an extra hour to perform surgery. AH!! NOT going to work!! My kid is asleep and I am so so tired after only 3 hours of sleep the night before and the stress and panic. So I crash. HARD. for an hour. I missed Jeremy coming over to see Hailyn with a sweet rapunzel doll for her. I didn't hear the door I was so so tired!

I wake up to 15 missed calls from the doctors office, the surgery center and insurance company. They are all fighting. The insurance wont cover the procedure unless it's at a hospital, it would be about $10,000 to do that with me paying 20%. Surgery center? already set up? $400. Umm I'll be a cash patient thanks insurance company for nothing. I called the doctors office, they were missing my drivers license and insurance card and could I fax it to them. I lost it. I broke down about the eye drops, the insurance, the surgery center- I told them to talk to each other. The lady, Michelle heard me. I told her I was barely hanging on and I couldn't do it, they needed to work it out I was taking care of my injured child ALONE and didn't have a minute to waste on this nonsense and more would get done if they took out the middle man. She then told me she had drops for me, come pick them up and I could drop off info then? Um yes- thank you! She made my day less stressful- why couldn't we do that before?

Anyhow I high tail it to the doctors before they close get everything squared away. The next morning I wake up at4:17am (glad I did I shut off my alarm at 1am- had to wake her every four hours still- yaoza!) Miraculously wake up and get ready and eat (I don't want her to see me eat since she can't). And I go to wake her at 4:45am- she is wide awake. Getting the eye drops in was tough! I wasn't sure I did- and she needed two sets- ugh! I tried my best (and cursed Ryan for being gone, he should've done the eye drops! It was torture! her eye was sealed shut I wasn't sure I got any in!) and schelpped her to the car and away we went.

At the surgery center she saw an apple juice box in my purse for after and wanted it.We were signing in (and paying $400 out of pocket) She even said please. Poor girl. I hated not giving it to her! We got her signed in and the anesthesialogist came in explained what he would do. Then the eye doctor came in and explained the procedure. Hailyn the entire time cuddled on my lap. Then the nurse Megan took her ands he didn't even cry or mind. We went to the waiting room and waited an hour. Hailyn had just woken up and was asking for juice please. I raced in there and she was sleepy but sweet. Doctor said everything went very well. I changed her gave her juice and carried her to the car. I hugged Jess for being there with me. I put Hailyn in her seat and took her to Tropical SMoothie (drive thru) we ran into our friend Paul in the drive thru. We bought a smoothie and went home. She wanted to walk in the house but she was teetering from anethesia so I carried her after a second. Nurses said she may be sleepy and lethargic. I couldn't keep up with her! She was all over. Had to encourage her to take a nap. She did. Ryan came home and we schellped it to the neuro.

As we went to the neuro we are running a bit late and I hear the distinct smell all moms know- my child pooped. We get there she didn't poop she had a major diahherra explosion. Oh my- a result of anesthesia I take it. and I brought no change of clothes. I had a single pullup in my purse for 'emergencies' and Ryan had wipes. He dropped me off- and she had diaherra all up her back and her shirt. A nurse behind me was looking at me. Um yes I need to change my child I know. So I go into the bathroom the changing table is in the middle of the bathroom and I do my best. A huge chunk falls on the floor and I step in it- didn't realize. I throw away her panties and her clothes are ruined! I have no extra clothes mind you. So I clean her up as I'm chucking wipes into the nearest trash can I can find, and there is poop everywhere. I get her in a pullup get her shoes on and away we go. Ryan is trying to decon the car seat and he's going to meet us there. We looked like great parents, our kid hasa nasty black eye, no clothes just a pullup and shoes. Yep. Amazing. Ryan came in noticed a disgruntled woman cleaning the downstairs bathroom. He then put two and two together. Sorry lady! He had to throw away part of her car seat it was unsalvageable. Yup, it was the worst explosion in history, hands down.

So the neuro said everything looks good, no swimming for 4-6 weeks and no re hitting her head (duh!)but she looks good. Keep an eye out for leaking spinal fluid (ahh!) but it's rare and she should be ok (relief) Thursday the eye doc said her vision looks good and eyes are moving together so that's good! She was the sweetest and easiest patient during all of this. Even the nurses and doctors were majorly impressed with her bravery she was incredible! She wanted pizza for dinner that night- that child got her pizza I tell you what!

Her swelling has gone down she can open her eye. She has a shiner and people in Phoenix (Ryan's grandma passed away July 22 and her funeral was saturday in Phoenix-Hailyn was wonderful! Love that girl.

So she is healing well and her swelling is going down- people ask and I have to tell the whole story and that's hard. Hardest week ever. But she is ok. I have the greatest family and friends- tons of love support calls and prayers. Thank you all so much- she's on the mend!

Adventures in parentland...a big crash

Yesterday was blissful and ended with a crash. Ryan had the day off work. We spent the morning eating scrambled eggs and running errands. Hailyn napped in the afternoon. So did Ryan:) We took her to se Winnie the Pooh with her Aunt Ky. She ate half a tub of large popcorn and soda. We went home to make some mahi mahi for dinner. I heard Hailyn and Ryan laughing and playing downstairs.

That's when I heard the worst sounds of my life. Ryan screaming 'Oh gosh oh gosh oh baby! baby!' I bolted downstairs and she was in his arms, a huge goose egg already on her head and her nose bleeding. I grabbed my purse and we were out the door. He handed her to me in the car and I just held her, trying to keep her awake. I pleaded to God, please help my baby please please please. Ryan was fighting tears as he bolted through the streets. I've never seen him drive like that. We were on our way to Sunrise Pediatric ER- I couldn't find the number and I was trying to keep my baby conscious. I still didn't know what happened at this point. I called my mother in law and told her, call Sunrise pediatrics er now so she did. I wanted them to know a two year old was en route and had a head trauma.

I held my baby girl and sang her songs. I am a Child of God. You are My Sunshine. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. It kept her conscious. We pull up I hop out get H and I go to the triage. As I'm holding my helpless baby in my arms the nurse asks 'what's wrong?' I cried. I never cry. I broke down. Ryan was parking the car. (I'm pretty sure he broke the car getting there- it was stressful.) A kind woman waiting took the paper and a clipboard and sat down next to me. I tried to be brave for my baby. I silently prayed. She wrote Hailyn's name. Then Ryan came in and held her while my hands were shaking I tried to grasp the pen to fill out the paperwork. I was in zombie mode. The words blurred together through the tears in my eyes. I filled out the paperwork. Then I said let's go! The nurse said she's next, hang in there mama.

I paced back and forth. I couldn't wait. My baby was hurt- broken- FIX HER NOW I screamed inside. Finally they pulled us in to traige and took us right back.

She didn't have a concussion. Her nose was bleeding still so they clamped it. She HATED that. Ryan's mom and dad walked through the doors. I was so relieved to see them. I didn't ask them to come (just to call) but I guess you can't say er and head trauma without the calvary coming in- I was so SO glad they were there! His mom held my hand while Hailyn received a blessing. She kept grabbing the side o her head and saying 'owww!' I asked Ryan what happened. She wiggled out of his arms while playing (she does that!) and bam! Straight on the tile. It was awful. He fought back tears. We both did. Had to be brave for our baby.

The nurses came and were amazing. I held Hailyn on the bed and we watched cartoons. Ryan's mom bought Hailyn a little cat snuggly which she hated (haha!) and we kept the kitty close. She watched Despicable Me on my iphone. I stroked her hair gently marveling at how blessed I am to have this beautiful, amazing little girl. I'm so lucky. Then she started to cough, the cough moms recognize. She was throwing up. I shouted for the nurses across the hall HELP as loud as I could. It was blood (and popcorn sorry to be gross but it's true I'm done with popcorn for a while). Blood all over (mostly me). Over kitty, iphone, bed, Hailyn. She cried after. Nurses were there and got her a bath going and stripped her clothes. They gave me wipes (I was DRENCHED!) a nurse saw me and said let me get you scrubs. I was so grateful. We got cleaned up and changed and waited for a cat scan.

HOURS later (I was ok waiting it meant we werent ULTRA critical) we found out she has a frontal lobitial fracture. No bleeding in brain that we detected on cat scan.

Today we went to the eye doctor (oh ryan is gone this morning until tomorrow night after the craziness- long story but I wish he were here!) My sweet sis in law Jess came with me. Turns out Hailyn needs to go under tomorrow to make sure there is no hemorraging behind eye. Had issues finding the eye drops I need they had to order them and they were like get them at 10 am tomorrow (um her surgery is at 545am!) so doc office figured it out for me. It was a nightmare. Today was rough. Tomorrow is going to be crazy with surgery, no ryan and a neurological appt. I can handle it. I'm insanely lucky to have friends and family helping me.

I'm off to bed. I have to wake Hailyn every four hours. It's tough keeping an ice pack on her. She wont do it. We're out of the door at 430am. No food or drink. I hope I've got this. Off to prepare.

wish me luck...